Just read someone else’s post about 5 things to do when you are expecting and thought of writing an anti-post (typical me!)

Thing 1


When everyone around is pushing you about baby gender – just relax! This is not the most important thing in the world that you need to know. And it will not change that much, honestly! You will provide your unconditional love to the baby no matter what gender it is! Girl or boy, or something in between, in today’s world gender importance may still be ingrained in us, but in our day to day life gender issues are less black and white and straight all over nowadays. Girls fly into space, and boys run cooking shows. Your baby will be your perfect thing, no matter what gender.

When I was pregnant with my first baby we used to live in Vancouver, BC, and due to a large abortion rate, the hospital that I was followed at did not tell us the gender of our first baby. I ended up giving birth in a different city, and a different province, but we never had any additional ultrasounds done to tell us what the gender of the baby was. Of course, it was sad as my father passed away before I gave birth, so while he knew that I was pregnant with his first grandchild, he never got to learn who it was – a girl or a boy.

Later I went on to give birth to lots of girls, and I had a stillborn boy as well. That year I knew I was going to have a boy, and I prepared a lot – bought a lot of boy clothing, and sold a lot of clothing that was for girls that I had. I was sure at the time that that was going to be my last child which did not turn out to be correct. Now my latest baby girl is wearing some of that boy’s clothing still, and people are extremely confused whether she is a girl or a boy.

All kinds of situations can come out of this gender knowledge, and while I wished my father had known who I had as my first baby, the expectation may not always work out. While stillbirth are not that common necessarily, miscarriages are, and getting to know that gender may traumatize the parent even more, in my opinion.

Thing 2

cute baby hand

Start showing everyone those ultrasound pictures – not! While it is definitely a keepsake to have, and show some day to people – this may be the only thing you will ever get to have of your baby. Not every baby is born alive, in fact not every baby is born period. Some babies simply end up like a period, and however harsh it may sound, this is the fact of life for a lot of people. Some people will be happy to see those photos and see your glee, while others will just look at it as a reminder of what they don’t have, or what they have seen in a similar moment that didn’t get to last.

Sometimes it is hard to control what others do, and my husband was one of those who posted the ultrasound for everyone to see. Didn’t happen for my baby boy. It will just create additional need for explanations to those who read your Facebook feed.

Thing 3


When you are pregnant it is great to be prepared. You should have all of those great pregnancy books, and items that you will need when you give birth. Having a baby shower might be a good thing to set up when you have already given birth to collect gift cards for diapers, toys and clothing. However, don’t overbuy before you give birth, especially if you don’t know the baby’s gender as things can change quickly with the baby. You may or may not need preemie clothing, diaper rash paste, or baby oil and powder. Are you sure you will have the time to do baby yoga with the videos, or give massage to your baby every day? Some products are out there, but it doesn’t mean that you need to have one of each from the whole baby nursery Β and registry department.

Thing 4

Drinking juice in pregnancy

Do not drink alcohol when you are pregnant! I know they write that everywhere, but seriously – do not drink! It has been time and time again checked and verified – alcohol will impact your baby, and it is not something that you should ever do when you are pregnant! Of course, no drugs, and you even have to be very careful with prescription medications. This seems like such an obvious thing but I have seen people not follow this very simple instruction, and not everyone will get away with this. I have never had a problem with this myself, following these requirements, but it is an important rule – if you have substance abuse issues and are pregnant, seek help, don’t delay!

Thing 5

Having a busy tea party

And for almost the last point – don’t leave big things to take care of after the baby arrives. If you need to do your taxes, or do your spring cleaning, do a big garage sale, or set up a show for your kids’ dance recital – don’t delay till after the baby is born. It will be hard to find time when you have your baby, because you will have your hands full for a while.

For me, the first month has usually been the time that was I was busy working on setting into breastfeeding – and that leads us straight to the next point –

Thing 6


Don’t give up on breastfeeding before you try it! Those prepared milk companies will be sending you tons of free products to try, as well as coupons and small gifts to use. You may be tempted to use formula for your baby but don’t go that route until you really try and give up breastfeeding. You have to experience being able to breastfeed when you give birth, and try to give yourself a chance to do it! Breastfeeding requires a lot of work, especially at the beginning, and you have to be prepared for it mentally, and have a good network of help around you to be able to give you that first month when the baby arrives to practice and get on the right track with breastfeeding. Formula is great to have as the last resort – don’t set yourself up for it before you really have tried breastfeeding!

Just today I have read that the UN is going to possibly start regulating what formula companies can and cannot say and do when promoting their products. The message cannot make mothers believe that formula is somehow better than natural mother’s milk. You can read more about my thoughts on breastfeeding here.

I hope this post doesn’t sound discouraging in any way, I am just describing my experiences, and they are not all rainbows and unicorns! If you have ever experienced any of this – you are not alone, share your advice in comments!

And now for the Giveaway!

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$25 Giveaway from Box Roundup

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