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Well, here we are – I have successfully crossed the milestone of 21 weeks of a new pregnancy – yey! Big News today for yo’ll. So many reasons for trying to keep this a secret, but the cat is finally out of the bag!
Some of the reasons I thought maybe should not be something I should talk about. In my mother’s world at least, grief and pregnancy loss has always been a taboo topic that has been hushed-hushed about.
One of the reasons for not announcing a pregnancy for my mother has always been that someone will send a curse towards the new child, and turn their new life upside down for sure. I kept my first child a secret at the job that I was at, not necessarily fearing the evil eye of the co-workers but more just following the dogma and mantra that was bestowed on me by my mother – I am a very influenced person by those around me.
With the second child we have continued the vow of secrecy, and this time my husband kept the child unannounced. We have never done a gender reveal announcement, or had relatives and friends excited for us – just not something that we lived through.
With our third child my husband decided to be more open and published some early ultrasound pictures on his Facebook for everyone to see. Congratulations ensued and seemed like everything was going well. The child did seem to potentially be having health issues that were undefined, however all I knew was that I had polyhydramnios in the pregnancy, and everything else seemed to have been going fine until the day of the birth. We started the day excited about having a newborn, and proceeded only to find out we have stillbirth on our hands. This was a total bummer, and sent us into the spirals of grief and anxiety.
We didn’t know what we wanted. I felt like I was missing having a baby in my arms, and even though I thought it would have been my last pregnancy, so uncomfortable it was, and we thought we had plenty of children already, a little while after the stillbirth we decided to have another baby. I thought that I could do it, and with the help of an excellent medical team, and a lot of care I went on to have my third living child, who is now a 3.5 years old toddler.
As a small child myself, in my old days, I think I was about 8 or 9 years old, I played with my friends, and pretended to be a mother, and having many children. I think it was a kind of a dream that I envisioned for myself before I realized the trials one has to go through with childbirth and actually having a family. My parents only made fun of me, and laughed at the fact that I wanted to have so many children. It was hurtful and very embarrassing, that’s probably why I still remember this even now. As a child I made a play passport for myself, and wrote down that I had many daughters in it, only to be made fun of by my parents.
Someone recently asked me if I needed to learn some contraception methods that are available that it is so surprising that I would want to have so many children. And I know that from the moment this child is born, people will start giving opinions that we must have wanted to finally have a boy that we continued having children. I guess these opinions are just some of the things that I need to get used to hearing from now onwards. Sometimes it is hard for me to take teasing with a straight face.
Pregnant women go through all sorts of emotions daily, and for me it has certainly been primarily the feeling of anxiety. One aspect of this is because I have had to endure having a stillbirth before. I think the majority of people don’t tend to think about the worst when they are expecting, and I don’t want to do that either, however it is a harsh reality for most women who have dealt with stillbirth and miscarriage before – you can never get rid of those anxious thoughts, counting those weeks to the happy moment, and hoping everything will go as planned.
Anxiety has been a big part of this pregnancy as well. At the beginning certain things didn’t go as planned, and while I had hopes, I was in my mind prepared to hear the worst news. But the worst news haven’t been coming, and after the first more turbulent trimester, now everything seems to be going ok so far, however the anxiety is still present on my mind almost every day.
Some anxiety that I am experiencing now is about my own body. At the beginning of the pregnancy I was eating a lot, but not gaining that much weight, but now I have really caught up, and now am beating the weight gain graphs – woohoo! My doctor has been ok with that so far, but told me that I will have to start worrying about that after the baby is born. Weight loss after a pregnancy has not been that difficult with the latest baby, but now as I have grown older, I am not sure how this will go, and there is a certain amount of anxiety that I have about the future weight loss I will need to undertake.
The other issues have been similar to the most unfortunate pregnant lady from “What to Expect When You Are Expecting Movie”. If you have seen the movie, there was that one character that pulled the most stressful pregnancy card, and looks like I am just exactly like her. It is kind of funny when you think pregnancy is this super happy moment, and while it is in fact a happy moment, there are just so many health concerns for yourself that surface in pregnancy that you might not think about at first, unless you have some chronic health conditions, but that will always catch up with you when you are actually pregnant. All I am hoping for is that once the pregnancy is over, every concern will reverse itself for how it felt before I was pregnant, or maybe will be reversible with some small medical assistance afterwards, I am keeping my hopes high.
Another issue has been skin stretching on my stomach. I think I have developed some stretch marks that I am now fighting to deal with using a special Palmer’s stretch mark products. I have recently received a care package from Palmer’s that included a collection of their products for stretch marks, as well as a bump diary where I can jot down my emotions and doctor visits results that I need to track and stay on top of.
I have been using Palmer’s stretch mark products for a few weeks, and I am noticing that there are changes already visible to my stretch marks. I am finding that the products are working well so far, my skin is feeling soft, smooth and beautiful.
This has been my first time using Palmer’s Cocoa Butter Furmula products, and I didn’t even realize that Palmer’s brand has actually been a trusted brand for forty years now! I have very sensitive skin, and I was also glad to learn that now Palmer’s has a new formula that is more natural, and is mineral oil free, hypoallergenic, phenoxyethanol free, parabel/phthalate-free, allergen free, dye free and works great for sensitive skin.
The best results of Palmer’s stretch mark products are improved skin elasticity and reduction in appearance, size and severity of stretch marks. I can also see an improvement of overall skin texture and tone of my skin. This is actually consistent with the results that 98% of women get who use their products according to the company.* That’s amazing results!
I am planning to be using these products throughout my pregnancy and my subsequent weight loss journey. The truth is for me, the stretch marks really mostly start to show after the baby is born, and I am happy that these Palmer’s products are suitable to be used for the time after pregnancy and for weight fluctuations. The products are really great for anyone wishing to improve skin elasticity.
Some of the key ingredients in Palmer’s Cocoa Butter Formula products are cocoa butter (improves skin moisture levels), vitamin E, collagen, elastin, shea butter (my favorite natural fat product!), argan oil (not only this is great for your hair, but it is rich in vitamin E and helps soften and condition your skin, too!), lutein (helps prevent elastin breakdown).
Out of three products that I am getting to try, my favorites are massage cream and massage lotion in Palmer’s Cocoa Butter Formula products.
- I love how I can use the massage lotion anywhere on my body just like I would use my regular moisturizer. It helps to keep my skin hydrated and looking healthy.
- I use the massage cream specifically for my belly, hips, thighs, and bust. I find this winter, and due to this new pregnancy, my skin is being excessively dry, and this cream helps to relieve the dryness.
- The tummy butter formula is best to use at nighttime before bed to relx with its calming scent.
Here is my secret to pregnancy calmness. Even when there is a turmoil, anxiety, and the unknown that is stretching ahead of you, the best way to experience today to is relax and try to concentrate on your baby. Tune out the noises, put away the distractions, have a bottle of water, and sit down comfortably. Concentrate on those baby kicks, massage your belly with a stretch mark cream, and let the baby feel that first mother’s touch. This will allow you to relax yourself, and help your baby feel relaxed as well.
Let me know if you have any secrets that you are using or have used to make your pregnancy less stressful!
* Based on responses to an 8 week in-home user trial by 102 female panelists aged 18 to 49